Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
