Define "chronic" masturbator.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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