i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
