thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Your shirt... Was in my pants
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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