? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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