he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
