sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
another moral hangover. fuck.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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