hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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