Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
