Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize