Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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