I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
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