just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
