can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
