I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
