her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
