is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
