If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
