Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
