I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
