There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
