In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
oh god was she eating orange peels again
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
