you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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