You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
