New invention idea: vibrating tampons
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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