wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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