Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I just want nice things and good sex
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
