know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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