Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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