I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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