I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Rumble strips road head = magical
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
