I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
