her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
