Operation Purity has been aborted
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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