just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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