she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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