ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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