porn star boner night. come get it.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
