I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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