Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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