Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)

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(516): View more from New York

Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.

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(512): View more from Texas

just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.

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(509): View more from Washington

Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.

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(925): View more from California

While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."

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(416): View more from Toronto

WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!

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(334): View more from Alabama

I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.

(334): View more from Alabama

I stand by my new policy.

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(705): View more from Ontario

They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride

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(307): View more from Wyoming

I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)

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