what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
