we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
