I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
i've created a new STD.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
