she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
