She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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