I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
is that a dick in a sweater?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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