she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
