And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize