3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
