So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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