"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
