We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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