That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize