he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
