I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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