Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
do herpes really smell.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize