yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
operation harelip BJ is a go
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
