The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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