3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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