my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
