What did I eat last night that was bloody?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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