trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
My day in three words: secret purse cake
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
